The Plate

Darkness. Like cancer, it grew inside of him, unseen and unnoticed by those around him.

Thick, sticky blackness. It had started so small. Just a tiny spot he could ignore. Smile and pretend it wasn't there. Pretend everything was okay. Pretend the wounds inside were healing, scarring over. Pretend that he could look in the mirror without flinching.

Lies, so many lies. Lies fed the blackness and made it grow. Made the wound inside seep and fester. Swell and consume.

Nobody saw. They were all blind. All they saw was the smile. All they heard were the jokes. Become a clown and hide the pain. Already had the hair. Burning red, like the flames of that day. The flames that had devoured anything that had survived his crime. His sin. His damnation.

The screaming was coming from inside. At first it had only been at night. He'd close his eyes and it would begin. Hundreds of voices. Men. Women. Children. That's why he couldn't be alone. That's why he would drown it out with alcohol and sex. His body was just a tool to gain respite. But now it didn't matter anymore. The screaming never stopped. Even when his eyes were open he could hear them. Their fear. Their terror. Their pain.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I AM…..WHAT AM I?

...

I am the wisps of smoke

Dissipating in the breeze

After the fire burns out

...

I am the memory of what was

What could have been before

What can never be again

...

I am pain personified

I am hope abandoned

I am despair

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~