Fandom: Final Fantasy VII Summary: Tseng is hurt on a mission. Notes: This is another experimental piece. Part 1 is Tseng's point of view. Part 2 is Rufus' point of view. Played around with using each part's title as a kind of chorus for their thoughts on each other. |
Part 1 - JUST LIKE HIM ~~Tseng~~ So this is were it ends. Staring into the sky and thinking how he'd miss the stars. It wasn't like he ever looked at them before. To busy. Too many important things to do to stare at the sky and notice they were even there. Only now did he realize how beautiful they were. Just like him. The pain rolled over him, making his vision black out momentarily. He fought it, sucking in a breath and opening his eyes to stare upwards. They were so far away, so untouchable but still he yearned for them. Just once he wished he could of touched, reached out to hold one in his hands, even for just a moment. Just like him. So beautiful, regal and so far out of reach. What else did he expect? It wasn't like he deserved anything else. Why would a man such as that even look at him as anything else than a tool. A weapon to use at will to achieve his master's needs. That was all he was after all. Just an instrument to be used to achieve a goal. Just a life that lived or died depending on his master's orders, his master's desire. It was his purpose, what he was born to be. In his own way, he too was obsessed with power. Just like him. The difference was he was in love with the man that held all the power. The one who chose whether he lived or died. He was just a slave to his god, following him around like shadow. A darkness to contrast his light. The action to the master's thoughts. The punishment for disobeying the master's words. The retribution for not bowing to the master's demands. Not a person, not a being that chose for himself. Created for this life. Trained to be what he was. Just like him. Was it any wonder his last thoughts would be of his master? Of wanting to touch him…please him…make him smile? The pain swept over him again, blacking out the sky and making him fight for air. He was so sick of fighting. So sick of pain and darkness and nightmares that wouldn't stop. When had his life changed? When had that little boy who followed his mother like she was the sun and giggled at way the sunbeams danced across the floor turned into an emotionless monster? Just like him. He was loosing the battle for life. The pain and darkness were winning, blacking out the stars and leaving him bereft, lost and adrift in his own personal nightmare. He knew this was how it would end. No shinning light. No salvation. No angels to guide him home. Just the black cold emptiness enveloping him and drowning him in its nothingness. Swallowing his soul and taking away the little light of hope that had clung in his heart. Just like him. Just for him. Part 2 - JUST FOR HIM ~~Rufus~~ He was standing in his office, staring over the dark city with a drink in his hand that did nothing to still his troubled mind. Something was not right. He could feel it in every breath of air, every minute of silence that dragged past. Willing the phone to ring wasn't working. He didn't care how long it took. He would wait all night if that's what it took. Just for him. The ring of the telephone shatters the silence. His voice level and all business as he answers it. Words spoken that he doesn't want to hear. All his secret fears realized. His heart beats so fast in his chest that his head spins. No. Not this. Anything but this. He gives orders that he knows will be questioned later. Lets a crack appear in his armor that the others will see, but tonight he doesn't care. This he must do. For his heart, for his conscious, for his sanity. Just for him. Pulling on his jacket, he takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. His layers of white a sad reflection of what lies inside. Protecting himself from the outside. Hiding what he can't show. Symbolic layers, so many levels to keep anyone from getting to what lies beneath. The real him. The frail body that doesn't match the powerful mind. There is only one that he would let see it. He would strip away all his protection and stand naked, exposed and defenseless. Just for him. The knock finally comes and he is out the door. Ignoring the looks, the suspicion, the minds that search for reasons he doesn't want to give. They reach the roof top, stand waiting and he can almost hear the unspoken questions ticking away in the others' minds. Why does he care? Why is he running to his side? Why would the boss bother with one who was just another tool, another weapon to be used at will? He wants to answer. Wants to shout it from the fucking rooftops and let the world recoil in shock at the revelation that his heart still beats, still feels, still yearns and aches. But only one deserves to hear it. He will stay silent and strong. Just for him. The journey is endured in silence. The wind and the thrum of the chopper blades reflect the storm inside. He bites his tongue to keep from demanding they go faster. He has to be there now. Is so terrified that he will lose the one thing he treasures above all else. Just the thought of a tomorrow without that strong presence by his side, protecting him, supporting him, giving him hope, makes him want to throw it all away. What else is there in this graveyard of a city full of lost souls to keep him fighting? He only fights for one hope, for one dream, for one person. Just for him. The arrival is a blur. He has only one goal, one destination and everything else is just static. The doctors babbling and begging for his attention are just interference that he ignores until the door is before him. Pausing in fear of what lies ahead. He needs to be strong, to be immune to what he will see even if his heart will scream and his mind will weep. He will control it and hold it all back. Be the wall of strength and stone that never bends or cracks. Just for him. Alone he
enters, pulling closed the door and turning only to have all his
defenses crumble. He cannot move, frozen to the spot by the sight of
such helplessness. To many tubes crisscrossing, connected to machines
that beep as if mocking his weakness. Movement on the bed propels him
forward to stand staring down at a horrible parody of what he knows.
There is no strength here. Only a man clinging to life, wrapped in
bandages that seem to be the only thing holding him together. He wants
to run away from it all, flee the sight that is tearing him apart inside
but his legs will not respond. Eyes open, look wide at him in surprise and it steals his breath away. "You should take better care of yourself," Rufus blurts out and his voice is oddly flat, unlike his insides which are churning in a tornado of emotions. "Just like you," Tseng answers roughly, his usually smooth voice corrupted by injury and pain. "Why are you here?" His black eyes stare into Rufus' soul and demand he tell the truth. Admit what he has kept inside, hidden for far to long. "Just for you," Rufus whispers, reaching out to grasp a hand that is oddly unharmed, as if spared for just this purpose. Tseng frowns in question and Rufus looks into his eyes and risks it all with a smile that tells too much. Seconds tick by and just when Rufus is about to falter, to step away and pull back up the walls, Tseng smiles back. Just for him. Just like him. ~~~The end~~~ |
